Confessions of a Shoplifter

I look into my purple bag today and find two pairs of tights and a Target receipt. Strange. Why aren't the tights in the other bag, with the cotton balls, and razors, and chocolate I bought? I wonder if...No, can't be... Hmmm... And so I check the receipt. No tights. No tights at all. I cringe, and realize that as I was rushing around the store, I had stashed the tights in the bag without paying attention- the same way I do with my keys and everything else I never remember misplacing... I cringe again.

Then a sense of relief. If the alarms had gone off....

And I cringe yet again. I'll have to go pay for them. How embarrassing. Um, hi. I accidently walked off with these? No, I don't know how they got into my bag. Yes, I'd like to pay for them now. No, no, I'm not out of my mind...and no, I suppose this isn't something you see every day...

Sigh. It has definitely been one of THOSE days...