Reverse Culture Shock

Last night was the first night I don't remember dreaming in Creole.

I will have been back in the States a week this evening. I always forget how hard it is to settle back in. It's not any one thing, really, but more of a general off-balanced feeling that comes from the collection of small details of life that change from one setting to another. Coming back, there's such a mix of things to process. For one thing, it takes time for those experiences to incorporate themselves into your concept of yourself. Your life away can be so different that it takes up its own little compartment in your mind, separate from your "real life."

And, there's something of a mourning process, too. There are all of the favorites things that you miss- the ocean, the spontaneous music, the rhythm of Creole chatter...and the friendships that you've built so quickly. Not only is it possible that you never go back or that many of your goodbyes are final but also, you know that if you do go back, it won't be the same as before; the faces would change (at least most of your international companions, anyway), and you could be starting over again.

So what's the solution? Staying busy for a while is generally my preference, which makes being on "vacation" a little difficult.
I'm getting to see a lot of my dearest friends, but other than eating, sleeping, and socializing, my activity has been minimal. Thankfully, I'll be getting into my own routine again soon, or I'd worry about feeling depressed. I forget how much stimulation is simply inherent in life abroad. Even when you maintain a seemingly mundane routine, you don't feel bored because the background is so different from what you know. The landscape, language, food, culture, etc. keep the mind active and engaged.

Anyway, I think I'll be here in Atlanta for a few more days, and then make the drive to DC on the 24th, stopping in Richmond for the night. I'll head to NYC for a long weekend, and classes start up again on the 29th.

Home Again

After three flights, several delays, and a lot of pizza in Atlanta, I'm home again, and falling asleep any time I have a quiet (or semi-quiet) moment.

Last Hours

In about 24 hours the van will pick me up to take me to the Jeremie landing strip. (We call it "the airport," but I don't want you to think it's more than it is.) It's very strange planning out the last activities. I'm not ready to go yet. There are still one hundred questions to ask, a bag to pack, pictures to take, gifts and thank-yous to send, and a lot of goodbyes that I hate to say. Tonight there will be a goodbye party at Marie's house. We haven't quite figured out how to rotate all the right people through to make sure I can see everyone without any uncomfortable mixes, but I think it'll be all right.

I woke up to the warm glow of the sky over the water, like every morning. It's still cool for a moment, and I'm thankful, knowing that the heat starts as early as 8 o'clock or even earlier on some days. I'm mulling over the mental checklist, trying to prioritize. I won't be able to fit in everything I'd like today. There are so many places I'd like to visit and activities I'd like to fit in one last time. And I won't be able to see everyone to say goodbye, but maybe it's easier that way.

It's strange how quickly my life and routine here has become so normal to me. I've forgotten the feeling of a night in an air-conditioned house. I'm afraid that I may not be able to re-adopt my normal walking pace and may never be ontime to school again. I'm trying to pretend I'll still be able to eat a perfect avocado every day and hit the beach each Sunday at 1:30. There won't be the or children carrying jugs of water tied together and perched on their heads, or the goats and pigs running around in the sewers. And there's the ocean in constant view, and the music and dancing that are as constant as the poverty and the heat. Even stranger, though, is how quickly I know I'll slip back into my American life.

A Day at the Library

Today felt really good. I took two groups of teachers to the library. I had them look around for about 15 minutes, and then I set the brainstorming topics for groups of 5: What would we like to see in this library? and What can we do about it? I was really nervous that the list was going to be "We don't have, We don't have, We don't have..." and "The government should..." but we actually came up with a very positive and proactive list. The very first suggestion was "We should become members!" And there were suggestions about getting people in the community to contribute books, and to hold events like story times and debates there to encourage people to come. One group suggested showing educational films there to raise some money. Several groups suggested forming a committee of "support and supervision" for the library.

I was excited to see teachers excited. I try not to get my hopes up too high, though, because the early talk is much easier than the later follow-through. But, if nothing else, I'm excited about the fact that the teachers seem to feel empowered and motivated to create the changes they want to see.

Monday Morning Plans

We don't have a second teacher planned for Monday, so during each session I will take a group to the "national" library. We went to visit it yesterday. The building is pretty nice. There's a large room and two smaller rooms to the side. The books only take up a small portion of the two smaller rooms, and the large room has a few tables. The books are mostly old (a few new childrens books in English, and the early 1980s seems to be the most recent of the books in French- The rest were from the 1930s-1960s.) The room with the childrens books and mysteries was locked with a sign that says "Employees Only."

So we're going to take a field trip with the professors, followed by a brainstorming about what can be done. There are plenty of resources available, if a group is willing to prove its interest and commitment. The challenge is that there's a cycle here. Not a lot of people think to read very often, so the demand for books stays low, so there's no build-up of books, so there's no enticement to start reading. And some of the best books end up disappearing into the homes of directors and members of the Ministry. I can't help but think, though, with the right personality running the library, or a group interested in improving the quality and quantity of resources and activities, the library could become a strong center of culture and research. We'll be having the brainstorming session at the library itself (No, there's no one there, so we won't be disturbing the other readers.), which may hopefully have the effect of inspiring the director, or maybe making him just nervous enough to take some initiative. Or, more likely, just make him nervous. Still, it would be nice to have a small enough project that the teachers could tackle and succeed with, to see that they are actually able to work to solve problems they see. We'll see what tomorrow produces.

One More Week

I've had a hard time writing lately- maybe I'm a little burnt out, or maybe there's just a lot of mental baggage to unpack. Once I get home, I'm going to type up a lot of my notes and will include parts of them here.

It's interesting to see how the class has progressed over the last few weeks. We've finished three of four now. Some days it's really frustrating, and it seems like no one is making any progress. At the same time, the "cream of the crop" seems to be appearing at this point, and while progress is slow, there is a core group of professors that really seem bright and enthusiastic. I've been impressed with Joy's fortitude in everything.

We had to end our lunch-catering contract after they arrived an hour after the teachers left on Wednesday and then dared to bring the same fish that hadn't been eaten the day before- and the odor of which indicated that it had been sitting out for 24 hours. I wish they understood what that would have done to their business had they tried to pull that off in the US.

Eight more days. At this point, I know I will be sad to go. I've gotten into a semi-routine, and there are a lot of people I'll miss. I'm also looking forward to seeing everyone at home.